NAME: Dimitri Ivanovitch Gurevitch
AKA: Omnipotent Leader
SEX: Male
HEIGHT: 5'11"
WEIGHT: 160 lbs.
DATE OF BIRTH: May 9, 1956 A.D.
PLACE OF BIRTH: Moscow, Russia
REASON FOR BIRTH: To rule the world.
TURN ONS: Power, Logic, Venison, Potatoes, Vodka, Nuclear Weaponry, Napalm, Hatred, Darkness, Darth Vader, Severed body parts, Tubas.
TURN OFFS: Weakness, Emotions, Sunshine, Lolliepops, Rainbows, Leslie Gore, Recycling, Love, Hope
AMBITIONS: To rule the world.
SKILLS: Omnipotent Leader
PERSONAL HISTORY: Dimitri grew up in Moscow as the son of a Soviet Military Officer. He dreamed of becoming a musician but his father would not have it. "Musicians are degenerates with no discipline, who sleep all day and take drugs all night," his father said. After several unsuccessful attempts to join the "John Hoagland Polka Band," he was shipped off to a Siberian Military school where his dreams of becoming a musician were severely oppressed through a process called Deharmonization. Deharmonization was a process where by the victim is made to listen to some of the most brilliant musical performances in history accompanied with the administration of a drug called Xenotrophlaxalite. This drug caused projectile vomiting, incontinence, diarrhea, confusion, audio hallucinations, muscle spasms, severe cramping, and a mild headache quickly breaking the subject down to a small blob of Gelatin. Dimitri however did not break and soon became addicted to the drug. Xenotrophlaxalite is no longer produced and as a result Dimitri is constantly irritable because he is in a perpetual state of withdrawal. Upon completing school with honors, he was hired by the KGB as a mind control agent. In the early 1980's, he began working with sound as a method of control. Dimitri was exiled from the former Soviet Union after failing to meet their expectations. "Ship him off to America with all the idiots where he belongs." The rest is history.

Matthew Bergmann - William Carl Black - Erik Hoagland - Alan Lerner - Justin Mullens

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