Mateo y Guerillmo's Casa de Ballantine Ale

We are perpetually on a quest for the perfect beer. Good & Cheap. What do we mean by "good" and "cheap"? Well I'll tell ya. Hold on while I go get a beer. "PHFSSSTT... Gurgle Gurgle Gurgle... Ahhhh!... Belch!"

A "Good" Beer should meet the following criteria.
Smooth Flavor: A nice balance of flavors not too much of one ingriedient especially with all those fruity beers Fuck that shit man! BALLANTINE ALE!!! But I digress.

High Alcohol Content: Who wants to drink lots of shitty beer? Put your hands up so we can cut em off. The woes of drinking shitty, thin, watered down, no alcohol containing beer are as follows. a) a headache due to severe dehydration b) vomiting and idigestion as a result of consuming too much of a poorly developed so called "alcoholic" beverage. c) Endless pieriods of unination. Which keeps you away from the party therefore further away from getting laid. It also seems to me that all that beer-truning-into-piss would put a lot of mileage on the ol' stomach, liver, kidneys, bladder and pecker/beaver. d) Yer gonna get fat and stupid. It's well known that beer puts alotta weight on a body and the shitty stuff is chock fulla drugs that keep you stupid enough to keep buying the sitty stuff and drink it while tuning into must see TV.

Full Body: but not too much so you feel like your drinking mud. I don't care how good the flavor is or how high the alcohol content mud is mud and there ain't no other way ta spell it son. (exception: "Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie" -Les Claypool)

Good Head: Oral sex goes great with most good cheap beers but tasteless jokes aside a good head on a beer does tell you something about the beer it doesn't just look cool. (Oh yea and from Guinness you get that beer head moustache from the first three or four sips that looks really silly and drives other people nuts wondering why you don't just wipe it off.) Better beers tend to have smaller more tightly packed bubbles this usually means that no artificial agents have been used in the brewing process. But who the fuck am I? Fuckin Albert big brained, sweater wearin, no hair combin, E=mc2 my ass" Einstein? Fuck No! Besides I already lied to you about the drugs in the shitty beers.

A "Cheap" beer should meet the following critieria

6 pack: $2-$4
40 oz.: $.99-$2.50
22 oz.: .99-$1.25
12 oz.: $.50-$1

Now try to find a combination of both "good" and "cheap".
Good luck!

Here are a few pages dedicated to some of our favorites.

Ballantine Ale
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Miller High Life
Motor City Beer

Here are a few pages of some not so cheap beer.

Guiness Stout
Newcastle Brown Ale

Did someone say liquor?.

Jack Daniels
Makers Mark